Eric Tolle, in his wonderful book The Power of Now, which I recommend to anyone who has not read it, agrees with Augustine, and encourages us to end the delusion of time by ending our preoccupation with the past and future. The key to Tolle’s teaching, I believe, is to end the preoccupation with, but not consideration of, the past and future. According to Tolle, ending this preoccupation helps us only relive stress and anxiety but also to gain deep spiritual insight.

Philip Zimbardo and John Boyd in their book, The Time Paradox, recommend we develop a balanced approach to time. They suggest we reframe our past so that our memories are pleasant and enjoyable, or if that is not possible, so they provide us with wisdom and insight. Furthermore, they encourage us to enjoy and appreciate the present, and to develop an optimistic attitude towards our future. I agree with Augustine, Tolle, and Zimbardo and Boyd, but I cannot help to notice how the relationship, that is, the images and narratives we hold for the future, influences present motivation and behavior.

Fred Pollack in his seminal work, The Image of the Future, noted there are four types of relationships with the future. First, there is what he referred to as “essence-optimism”; there is something inherent about reality, that in the end everything will be okay. An example would be the idea that culture is evolving towards something better. Next, he talked about essence-pessimism; there is something inherent about reality, that in the end, everything is doomed. An example of this would be the idea that the universe is fated to suffer a cold death or will ultimately contract into another big bang. Then, he pointed out influence-pessimism. This is the belief that no matter what actions we take, we will make things worse. Finally, he spoke of influence-optimism, the empowering belief that our actions can influence the future for the better.

The most negative image of the future is a combination of essence-pessimism and influence-pessimism; chaos rules the cosmos from beginning to end and anything I do will make things worse. The most powerful stance, however, is essence-pessimism and influence-optimism; yes, reality may be precarious, however, it is possible to imagine a better future and it is even possible for me to work towards that future. “Yes things may be bad, but I can do something about them.” A pessimistic image of the future is not necessarily bad as long as we believe we can positively influence it through the actions we take today.

When we lose faith in our ability to create a positive future, we become prone to anxiety and depression. In moderate doses, anxiety and depression are also not bad; in fact, they may motivate us because we may take positive action to eliminate then. Unfortunately, when they overwhelm us we run the risk of becoming helpless and we may find ourselves focused on the immediate and forego goal setting and planning. If we find ourselves in this situation, what do we do to get back on our feet?

It is vitally important for us to regain the feeling of influence over our futures and the belief that our actions, choices, and behaviors will have a positive impact. Hypnosis and self-hypnosis can quickly facilitate a shift in our attitudes towards the future and help us recover our confidence and sense of control over our lives. If you would like to learn how hypnosis and self-hypnosis could help you regain control over your future, call (805) 637-4263 or email me.

“The future must not only be perceived, it must also be shaped.”
- Fred Polak

Motivation concerns energy, persistence, and direction. Our level of motivation positively correlates to the time and effort we will spend moving towards, or away, from an object, person, thing, idea, feeling, situation, etc. We know in the workplace motivation is highly prized because of one simple fact; motivation produces, and in terms of creating long lasting positive personal change, motivation is key.

We may think there is only one type of motivation and that we are either motivated or not, but Self-Determination Theory (SDT) divides motivation into two categories: intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Intrinsic motivation describes our innate tendency towards curiosity and creativity. It is our willingness to do something simply because we love doing it. We find the activity interesting and enjoyable in and of itself regardless of the outcome. On the other hand, extrinsic motivation always has an external orientation. Intrinsically motivated activities produce excitement and confidence, which translates into inspiration, perseverance, and higher performance over our extrinsically motivated activities.

SDT argues we have three innate psychological needs: competence, autonomy, and relatedness, which when met enhance intrinsic motivation, but if thwarted, lowers motivation and even decreases well-being. Competence refers to our need for a sense of strength and ability, while relatedness refers to our need for positive interpersonal connections. Intrinsic motivation is more likely to flourish in environments that are secure and in which we feel interconnected. Researchers have found that facing optimal challenges and receiving feedback free from demeaning evaluations, feedback that contributes to feelings of competence, enhance intrinsic motivation.

However, competency and relatedness without autonomy does not produce intrinsic motivation. Autonomy in this context does not mean independence, but rather that we experience the behavior as being self-authored. In fact, some controversial research suggests that any type of expected tangible reward, or punishment, undermines intrinsic motivation. On the other hand, acknowledgment of feelings and opportunities for self-direction boosts intrinsic motivation because they provide a sense of autonomy.

Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, applies to situations where we perform an activity because of external factors. Extrinsic motivation falls on a continuum somewhere between external at one end and internal at the other. For example, students may do homework because they realize its value in achieving their career or personal goals or they may do it because their parents pressure or bribe them. In each case, they complete the homework but in the former they internalized and integrated the value of the behavior of doing homework while in the latter, their motivation remained external and coerced.

Internalizing refers to “taking in” the value of a behavior while integrating refers to taking it on as our own. Unfortunately, extrinsically motivated behaviors typically are uninteresting and may even be boring, dull, and tedious. Perhaps the main reason we start performing these behaviors is that an important person in our lives modeled or valued the behaviors. This suggests that our need for connectedness is vitally important for internalization. However, the degree of internalization seems related to our perceived competency. We are more likely to adopt behaviors, when we honestly believe we can do them. This suggests that in order to internalize and integrate new behaviors, our environment must support our need for competency, relatedness, and autonomy. An environment of undue control, which offers less then optimal challenges along with a lack of connectedness, will prevent us from internalizing and integrating new positive behaviors.

The challenge for those of us who are parents, teachers, coaches, employers, therapists, or for anyone attempting to nurture healthy behaviors in another, is to help them internalize and integrate new positive behaviors. Fortunately, hypnosis and self-hypnosis helps us create the conditions required for internalization and integration of new positive behaviors. If you would like to learn how hypnosis and self-hypnosis could help you to increase your motivation or would like help creating the conditions to help motivate another, call (805) 637-4263 or email me.

Recently, I started to do some research into optimism.  If found that before World War II, psychology had three basic objectives: cure mental illness, make lives more fulfilling, and identify and nurture talent.  After the war, many soldiers returned home with shell shock, what we now refer to as post-traumatic stress.  Psychiatrists and psychotherapists took note of this new market and psychology, with help from the Veterans Administration and grant money from the government, put an emphasis on mental illness.  Most psychiatrists in America during the 1950s considered mental health to be the ego’s adaptation to social norms.  Things began change in the 1960s with the introduction of humanistic psychologies led by Maslow and Rogers.  Unfortunately, this psychology did not attract much empirical researcher as behaviorism dominated most research at the time, but it did spawn a myriad of therapeutic self-help movements.

Some contemporary psychology researchers now recognize that just as physical health is more then the absence of disease, mental health is more then the mere absence of mental illness.  Positive psychology, a recent branch of psychology, focuses research on the prevention of mental illness by investigating human strengths such as courage, future mindedness, optimism, interpersonal skills, faith, hope, work ethic, honesty, perseverance, and the capacity for flow and insight.

What is optimism?  Lionel Tiger defines optimism as a mood or attitude associated with an expectation about one’s social or material future.  Optimism depends on what the individual subjectively regards as desirable, advantageous, or pleasurable.  It is a positive belief concerning one’s future.  Tiger locates optimism in our biology, argues that it is one of our most defining adaptive characteristics, and proposes that optimism is an integral part of our human nature.

Recent research consistently links optimism to desirable characteristics such as happiness, achievement, and health.  Researchers soundly connect a positive mood to perseverance and effective problem solving.  They associate optimism to academic, athletic, military, professional, and political success; to popularity; to good health; and even to long life and freedom from trauma.  They have found pessimism, in contrast, foreshadows depression, passivity, failure, social estrangement, morbidity, and mortality.  Psychologically healthy people show a definite positive bias.

Still, are my gloomy friends correct?  Are optimistic people, even if the are psychologically healthier, living in denial of the true nature of reality?  Well, I like to ask them the question, is it true that everything you ever planned turned out badly.  I also like to ask them, as you look at your life is there absolutely nothing for which you are grateful even if it may be as small as the next breath you are about to take.  Invariably they concede, sometimes things go well and there are things in their life for which they are grateful.

David Cooperrider’s work on Appreciative Inquiry has made a tremendous impression on me.  One of the premises of Appreciative Inquiry is that the questions we ask determine the answers we uncover. Cooperrider believes that the questions we ask create our reality.  If we ask negative biased questions, we find negativity.  However, when we ask positive questions, we find our strengths and things we appreciate.  We choose where to place our curiosity and direct our inquiry, so I challenge my morose friends, because if we find our strengths and apply them to the opportunities that lay before us, we have good reason to be optimistic.  I believe however, that we need to use our optimism wisely and apply our energy and resources to the areas where we make a real difference.  I also acknowledge that focusing on the positive does not make the negative go away, at least initially, for I contend that when we align our strengths, particularly in our relationships and communities, we can make a real difference in our lives and in our world.  You may call me an eternal optimist, but in reality, good things do happen.

The services I provide my clients, both individually and organizationally, help them identify and act upon their strengths in a way that produces real positive change in their lives and organizations.  To learn more about me and my service call (805) 637-4263 or email me.

For further reading on optimism

Learned Optimism: How to change your mind and your life by Martin Seligman
Optimism: The Biology of Hope by Lionel Tiger
The Psychology of Hope: You Can Get Here from There by C.R. Snyder

If you wish to receive a copy of a journal article that details the studies on optimism to which I allude in this post, email me..

We come up with rationalizations; we do not have the time, it is too difficult, too cold to go to the gym, or it is raining outside. We can come up with a million rationalizations to justify our not exercising. One of my favorites is the vague, “I just don’t feel like it,” as if we forgot how exercise increases our energy, our sense of well being, and our overall health and fitness.  The key to overcoming these rationalizations, and not allow them to arise in the first place, is to find something about your exercise activity that you thoroughly enjoy.  This is not the results or the goal of your physical exercise, although that is important, rather it is something about doing the exercise that in itself is enjoyable.  By simply reframing your exercises so they are fun exercises will naturally increase your motivation to exercise.

For example, my favorite exercise is mountain biking. I enjoy mountain biking because I enjoy the freedom, I love being outdoors and in nature, I sometimes see deer, hawks, or other wildlife. I like being able to leave my front door and explore the area in which I live and I enjoy the feeling that I have been somewhere and seen something. I love the challenge one particular hill presents me and one day I will make it up that hill without having to stop. Moreover, riding on the bike trails makes me feel like a young boy and sometimes I do wheelies on my bike when no one is watching.  By thinking this way, mountain becomes the best exercise because it is fun exercise.  I increase my motivation to work out and it becomes something I miss if I do not do it.

What is it about your types of exercises or workouts that you truly enjoy?  Maybe there is a social aspect of going to the gym with your friends. Maybe you challenge yourself with how far you can go on the treadmill in the given amount of time. Perhaps you enjoy the movement of an aerobics or dance class. Make a list of the aspects of the exercise that you truly enjoy. Make the descriptions genuine and heartfelt, exaggerate it using your imagination,  so much so that you will feel a loss if you miss out on the exercise experience. When you have done this you will generate a longing for the exercise experience, not because you should or have to do it, but rather because you want to do it.

If you would like to learn more about how you can think differently about exercise and increase you motivation to work out, call (805) 637-4263 or email me.

It is certainly wise to be aware of our weaknesses and to have the humility to ask for help in situations which require an aspect of our talent, experience, expertise, or personality with which we are weak. However, it is important to realize that when we make an inquiry, or ask a question, the answer we receive is implicit in the question. There is a fundamental psychological difference between asking, “What did I do wrong and how can I prevent doing it in the future?” versus, “What did I do right and how can I do more of it in the future?”

I first started to understand this while I was working in the high tech industry in Silicon Valley. I was responsible for software quality and part of my responsibilities were to lead quality teams aimed at improving the software development process and hence the quality of the software. In fact, the company had a mandate that every employee be part of one of these quality teams at least once a year. The process always began the same, with a gap analysis, “Where did we go wrong and by how much?” After a couple of years of this, I noticed that the moral of my team declined and their enthusiasm to participate in the quality teams dwindled. When I asked them why this was, the answer I received was that we always looked at our mistakes and never our victories. We, in fact, had no process to inquire into our victories and successes. How often do many of us do the very same thing in our personal lives, always looking at our mistakes and failures and never our victories and successes?

I want to be clear that I am not talking about positive thinking; I am talking about positive inquiry. I am a big proponent of positive thinking but it is by inquiry we make meaning of our world. It is through asking questions that we learn to understand ourselves, the world around us, and our place in it. What does it say about our world if we consistently ask negatively based questions? Remember, the wording of the question implies the answer we receive. Fortunately, there is no inherent way to inquire into the world. The way we ask questions is simply a cultural or familial bias and a personal habit. That means we can reframe the questions we ask by being conscious of how we formulate the question.  Once we change the question, we will transform our world. How is this so?

Find out for yourself by answering this question and note the impact it has on your sense of value and worth. Write your answer down so you can refer to it later.

Describe a peak experience or high point in your life – a time when you felt alive, connected, engaged, or proud of yourself or your accomplishments. It can be in any area of you life: spiritual, family, relationships, professional, community, etc. What was it about you, the situation, or the people you were with that allowed that peak experience to arise?

Now is this something you want more of in your life and for which you are motivated to seek out? This is the first part of this type of powerful and potent transformation. The next step is to act upon the information you uncovered in your answer so there are more high points in your life.

If you would like to learn more about how positive inquiry can transform your life and/or your organization, please call (805) 637-4263 or email me.